M is
unhappy that his tuition class is coming to an end this weekend. Sad, he
wishes that I could continue teaching him. Different from his peers, M has asked me a few times, “Teacher, why do my friends call me ‘dumb’?”
Although
his mother may be unaware about his condition, his characteristics remind me of 2 other students. Sharing many common traits, these 3
Chinese boys have etched a space for themselves in my long term memory and my heart because of
their uniqueness. Mild autism.
Some 20
years ago, K’s parents made an appointment to meet me at my tuition centre in
Ang Mo Kio. Although K had been diagnosed with autism, they were careful not to
mention it to me. Instead they highlighted his slowness and inability to solve
complex Math sums. Gradually, I realised that they did this because they found it
difficult to find a teacher who believed it was possible for autistic students to understand and excel beyond the boundary of solving linear problem
sums. Well, the parents did not have to worry about me because the thought of autism or the
idea that it was impossible did not enter my mind until a few weeks afterwards when
I repeatedly discovered that an invisible barrier stood between K and
non-linear concepts.
K was with
me for a full tuition year (10 months) and M, whom I am currently teaching, has been with me for perhaps 8 months or so. Venturing into their
hearts and minds, I empathized with them, imagining how it feels to be different in a crowd of conventional
students. Well, I feel sad for them. Why? Things have not changed much for them. They are
teased and bullied in school. I believe many of them suffer from this although I have heard of the reverse too!
M feels sad
because no one understands him except me perhaps. This partly explains why the
tuition classes are important to him. Sometimes he would bombard me with so many
questions that concern him as a beginning teenager. But I run a tuition
programme, and I would remind him that these questions are outside of areas of paid
discussion. However, I think I have answered most of his questions.
To those
who think that such discussions are a waste of time, you must think again. When you enter
the world of a person and touch his heart, something special takes place and often that person would be motivated to excel. In this case, from failing Math, M is now the 2nd top
scorer in his Primary 5 Foundation Math class. He has become so motivated that
he completes dozens of pages of Math practice sums on his own. This is an achievement. How many kids do this on their own?
As parents,
teachers and tutors, we must enter our children’s worlds and experience a
little of how they live life without judgement. Yes, even if it means taking 2 minutes to listen sincerely to a Korean song or patiently watch a Youtube
video that tickles them (and maybe not you). Why? We can help them navigate better. Many of our
young ones are lost and they need guidance. You can help guide them better if you
are a part of their world. This is also true of our young ones who are a little
different. Perhaps they need more of this from us – parents, teachers and yes, tutors too.
This
weekend is the closing of a chapter in my annual book. It is the last class of
my regular 2018 tuition classes. There are so many different things I have learned
and experienced. Teaching M is certainly one of them.
(Note: K
and M are not the initials of my students.)
